the cuban salsa blog

“Oops. i’m sorry!”

“Did that feel ok?”

“Actually you should do XX when I do XX”.

The nervous laugh and look around.

Sounds like an adolescent make-out scene. But step out of memory lane for a second.

All of the above are examples of what we call validating gestures or VGs for short.

Validating gestures do just that, they validate or confirm, that what you just did was in fact OK to do.

In the land of dance, leads and follows both can easily fall prey to VG, excessive apologizing, stopping the dance,  or looking around after executing any pattern to make sure it was ‘ok’.

In my opinion, you should remove all validating gestures from your pool of habits. I can almost promise your dance will be more fulfilling.

There is no need to apologize unless pain is involved.

You don’t need to laugh nervously after each move, and you don’t need to stop dancing and apologize if you think your turn pattern was screwed up. And you definitely don’t need to talk crap if she fails to read your lead.

It’s so un-latin.

When you are out on the dance floor, doing your thing, and being yourself,  there is no wrong or right, and you don’t need to validate anything!

Last night in our beginner 3 class, I pulled the plug on all validating gestures for one song.

It was amazing how much was accomplished when we didn’t allow dancers access to this safety net.

The creativity was flowing, mind and body were focused, and there was no comfort zone to latch on to. Students performed movements and that was it. No discussion, no apologies and no validation.

If you are confident in what you are doing, you won’t feel the need to validate yourself.

I think it works the other way around: if you stop validating yourself, you’ll probably become more confident in what you are doing.

Give it try.

The venerable Thich Nhat Hanh

A guest post by Reed Colver

“Drinking a cup of tea and the tea being drunk is a distinction that evaporates. Drinking a cup of tea becomes a direct and wondrous experience in which the distinction between subject and object no longer exists.”?-Thich Nhat Hanh

When I read Thich Nhat Hahn’s words about tea, I immediately thought of the relationship between the lead and the follow.

We talk about ‘light leads’ and not being a ‘heavy follow’ in class. We talk about not gripping each other’s hands for fear of accidentally letting go.

If we do – so what?

One of the great things I’ve been learning is how to work with the lead, or as a lead with the follow, so that together we are visibly neither on the dance floor, but we are a unit. So if you do accidentally let go, read each other, have a fun moment – play! – and reconnect.

One of the unique elements of learning at Paso is the synergy created between follow and lead that creates a shared dance. To sense and feel one another as dancers. We are both responsible for the moment, and sometimes that means having to improvise. And have fun.

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