the cuban salsa blog

This is the question I posed to myself a few days ago.

The answer?

Maybe you could tell me because I don’t think it’s possible. And yet ironically, it’s quite easily the most common scenario I observe when I watch dancers on the floor.

Of course in this case we are not talking about a .44 magnum. We are talking about creativity and that which threatens to kill it -fear.

Scared Shitless

On the surface, every dance floor looks like a party. People are smiling, socializing and whipping out their best moves. Confident dancers, bust moves and twirl their partners to the delight of smiling onlookers.

But like many things in life, all is not what it seems.

Below all the smiles, poses, makeup and clothing dare I venture to say that insecurity is brewing dangerously close to the surface. A leads movement doesn’t go as plan, watch as his eyes instantly dart toward the sideline, checking to see if he was caught in the act.

Watch the follow attempt to get her styling just right, doing it over and over again the same exact way because to stray from what she was taught would be erroneous and ultimately counter to her preconceived notion of form. This can be a very scary thing for some, believe it or not.

Observe the lead as he tries over and over again the same movement that she was unable to follow. He did it “wrong” and now he must correct it by trying it again and again. Otherwise, he may have to come to the conclusion that he just can’t lead it at the moment, and that is a scary thing to face.

Fear keeps you doing the same thing over and over again.  Fear keeps you in your boundaries. Fear keeps you safe. Unfortunately, fear keeps you safe from creativity, spontaneity, and an AUTHENTIC partner connection.

Dare I say that a deeply rooted fear and insecurity tends to be one of the prevailing emotions on the dance floor? Look below the surface and truly think about it. How do you feel when you dance…?

Like someone is watching?

From Where do You DANCE?

I would like to turn your attention to the subtleties of the dance floor that are often overlooked. And then I would like you to go within yourself, ask the tough questions and give yourself honest answers. Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.

When you begin dancing in public places, and something goes awry, does your mind instantly wander to “who saw that?”

Do you frequently execute new movements on the fly, or does that seem a little risky? If so, why is it risky? What will happen if you choose to come out of your box? Do you worry about your dance being critiqued by others? Do you dance from a space that simply wishes to be accepted by others as good?

I think a large percentage do.

And I also think there is so much more in store for them, if and only if they pull their nose from the ass of onlookers and begin dancing for themselves.

So how do we stop fearing and start dancing?

James Brown Nose

I write because I observe things. And I write because I have been there. I’ve felt the twinge of insecurity, checking out the sidelines to see if anyone caught my error, afraid to interpret the music dynamically because it was difficult, and the chance of error was great. I tried to make my dance as perfect as possible for the onlookers, lest they see my “weakness”.

I was a James Brown Nose dancer.

I, like many other JBN’ers, was obsessed with impressing people, contrary to my training as a Afro-Cuban dancer. My dance was gripped by fear, and the attachment to praise.

So what changed?

Water Guns Can’t Kill You

First off, I developed an awareness that I was dancing out of fear. I recapitulated what I felt on the dance floor and isolated the emotion. I begin to actually hear the stories I told myself. I exposed what was hidden and looked it head on.

Steel became plastic, bullets became water. And I was better able to access the creativity within.

Another Face in the Crowd

I asked myself another tough question: Am I just another face on this dance floor? What makes me so different? If it takes you ten minutes to answer, it’s time for a revamping of your philosophy…

Strategy for Transforming Guns into Super Soakers

1.Take a moment to go back in time. Transport yourself to the last time you were on the dance floor. Re-examine all of the details leading up to, during, and after the dance. Pay attention to how you felt, and pay special attention to moments of insecurity or sparks of fear.  Ask yourself “why?”. And continue asking yourself  why until you find your pistol.

2.Once you’ve discovered your pistol, your fear, imagine what would happen if you were to disregard it. Examine the consequences. Are you ready to deal with them? Are they truly significant?

3. Ask yourself what makes you different from other dancers? Find that seed of uniqueness within you. Once you figure out exactly what makes you so different, RUN WITH IT. If you can’t find anything, that’s good too.

You now know exactly where you need to begin.

Be careful what you tell yourself. You just might believe it.

Let’s talk about one of the most prevalent barriers and dangerous forms of self-deception that we as dancers face…

“Tango? Nah. Not my cup of tea.”

“Cuban Salsa?  Whoa guy. Too much movement, not for me.”

“Mambo? Too many spins, On2 feels off. That doesn’t really interest me.”

“Ballet? Not me.”

“African dance? Uh..a little too crazy for me.”

“Improvise? I’m happy with just the turn pattern.”

I’ve heard these sentiments expressed in and out of the Paso community.

Usually, it’s total bullcrap.

Ten years ago, when I first heard Timba music I used the “it’s not my thing” shield. But in all actuality I found the rhythm overwhelming and difficult to interpret.

It was tough, so I turned my nose up at it. Wrong answer.

A more honest approach would have been, “I don’t like Timba because I don’t really have movements to interpret it. It feels off and dancing to Puerto Rican Salsa was just easier.”

How often do you dislike something you have the ability to do well?

Stripping away the deceptive layer and being honest with myself would allow me to tackle the truth, which, I later did.

Once you begin using “it’s not my thing” to cover up for inability, you will begin using it over and over again, turning your nose up at different dances and drawing yourself into a corner.

This doesn’t mean you have to like everything! Just be honest with yourself.

If your rhythm or coordination is not strong, body movements will be no fun. If you find yourself making excuses because you can’t do it, stop and make changes.

If you can’t spin, simply say “I suck at it, and I don’t like it.”  Then either leave it at that, or work on it. But don’t just say, “It’s just not me”. You have no clue what “me” is because it changes every week.

If a particular dance or movement is “not your thing” ask why and be clear and honest with yourself.

Taking this reality-based approach will expose any weaknesses in your dance and allow you to either fix them or simply be content with having them.

But don’t use opinions as a shield. You are only protecting yourself from getting better.

We all have a narrative, or a story we tell ourselves that dictates what we do in various situations. Though this little story keeps us on a behavioral track and safe from outside “threats”, it’s almost never accurate!

When it comes to dancing, you also have a chapter from your narrative that’s being played over and over again in your mind anytime you are dancing either with a partner or by yourself.

What loop is playing in your head?

Read the rest of this entry →