five minutes of dance
Dance, when you’re broken open.
Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off.
Dance in the middle of the fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance, when you’re perfectly free.?
- Rumi
Five Minutes of Dance
by Reed Colver
Those who have taken class with me on any sort of a regular basis (as in more than once) are well aware that I seem to be completely unable to make it to class on time. Usually I arrive just about 10 – 15 minutes late. If I’m doing really well, I’m only five minutes late.
The harder I try, the later I am.
There has even been the occasion when I have shown up practically at the time class is supposed to end. Or even, technically, afterwards. I quietly slide in, usually looking – and feeling - slightly sheepish. Most often wearing whatever I had on at work that day (or if I’m lucky, whatever clothes i could grab from the back of my car) and slip off whichever pair of highly inappropriate shoes I might have on, opting instead for barefeet.
And I dance.
A couple of times I lucked out and caught 30 minutes of ‘class’ and some free-dancing time.?Once, I arrived in time for exactly one dance.
But regardless, I dance.
And on those nights when I appear in class so late that technically I’ve missed class altogether, are the nights I dance most passionately. Each time I’ve needed that one dance more than anything else in my day. I’ve needed to dance because everything else has been chaotic. I’ve needed to dance because of heartbreak of all types. I’ve needed to dance because of amazing and wonderful things. And i’ve needed to dance because… well, I wasn’t sure, but I knew I needed to dance.
I don’t always understand the specifics that push me to the studio for the possibility of 5 minutes or less of dancing, but on all of those nights, the five minutes are worth the drive, worth the frenetic dig through the backseat to find clothes, worth the uncomfortable moment when everyone in the room turns to look at me as I walk in.
Those moments hold some of my deepest intangible connections with my dance. And I’m starting to realize, sometimes, when I really need them I can find those moments outside of the studio. They are the five minutes when I dance in my kitchen, my living room, my backyard, and yes, on occasion, my office.
Whether in the studio or in my kitchen, I understand with clarity Rumi’s words, and I close my eyes and for a moment, wherever I am, and I just dance.
No related posts.
Reed… that was incredible! You totally summed up my day yesterday – heck, my entire summer – in this well written and appropriately timed essay. Thanks you for your thoughts and your vulnerability. I am so glad that I’m not the only one… “And I dance.” Perfect!
~bjh
Great post!
I have ALWAYS believed that your purest dance will come when no one is around…
It’s during these moments that I think you are actually reaching You, spelled with a capital ‘y’.
Sounds like you are getting in touch with the “central self” that Zander talks about….
Hey Reed – I didn’t get a chance to meet you but I’m guessing you were the guy who came to class at about the time it was ending? I was the woman who was rushing out to go dancing at Carmen’s…
I totally get how you feel. Recently I’ve been working a lot and I spend lots of time trying to stay connected with friends and organizations I value. Part of me feels like I should cut back on the amount of time I spend going out to dance, but no matter how tired, how much my body aches, or what time I have to get up the next day, I have to dance.
I recently danced with a friend who is a much more experienced dancer and I felt bad for him because I am so new and clumsy. He told me he loved to dance with me because of the smile I had on my face when I was dancing. I love that I can have such joy dancing even as I stumble around. There is nothing else I can think of that I enjoy so much that I am perfectly joyful being imperfect.
So next time you come late I’ll just smile and know that you are there to dance and hope that I will be able to share a dance with you.
This is fabulous! I’m smiling and dancing too! Last night at Paso was so exhilarating for me. I didn’t realize how much I missed (and need) dancing. I really have to try to never give up my passions when work and duty beckon. If there is no time to do what you love and what energizes you, then the rest of life will become a drain. We need balance.
Tonia I loved your comment “I am perfectly joyful being imperfect.” That is at the heart of embracing something fully, and allowing yourself to be in that space. And yet I find it can be one of the most difficult things to do – and yet so important.
And interestingly, the student you are referring to wasn’t me, but he inspired me to finally submit this post which I had written weeks ago but had not yet summoned up the courage to send. When he arrived in class the other night I realized I’m not the only one.
Bahari – it is fabulous to have your smiling dancing self back in the studio
Balance is a constant struggle, and I try to remember that the times when it seems the most insane thing to try and make it to dance class, are usually the times I need it the most.
Well Reed we have met before and also shared dances but I didn’t realize who you were. Now I have a name to go with the face and I will still smile when you come late and I still look forward to sharing more dances with you.
It was good to dance with you tonight at La Fiesta. Thanks for leading me.
Reed, first let me tell you that when I see you come in, whatever time it is I am so so happy to see you! You have been nothing but encouraging to me and I absolutely love dancing with you so when you come in and class is almost over grab me and we can make it do what it do(thats a good thing LOL). Also when I read your post I was glad to hear that someone else feels the way I do about dancing and Salsa, I am working on the self expression part but it’s coming along slowly but surely I think. I dance everywhere I can or at least I’m running through turn patterns in my head when I can’t. I dance at home in the bathroom in front of the mirror(with my dog Miyah wondering what is wrong with her daddy), I dance at work( I have one nurse who is willing to just try), I dance in the gym(the other meat heads just don’t get it LOL), and I listen to Salsa almost 100% of the time now, in my car, at home, in the gym, wherever I can I am listening for the clave. So Reed don’t worry about the looks you get when you come in, people are probably thinking…..great, she made it! Can’t wait til tuesday…..I hate I am missing out on Fiesta Del Pueblo(gotta work!!!!) so I may just stop by the studio on sunday just to get my fix!
Hi Reed, I am late to read your post, but I still wanted to comment. Thank you for it, you spell out something that I am often thinking about lately – the need to dance ( almost an addiction), the feeling of something missing if I have not danced for a few days.
Bahari! It was awesome to see you again and that one dance with you last Wednesday had made my day! Thank you!