a beginning follow’s challenges
A guest post by Tonia Burkett
I’m a little bit of a procrastinator and a little bit perfectionist, so it’s not surprising that I didn’t start dancing until this year (I’m not saying how old, but it’s older than you may think).
I’m afraid of not doing well, of appearing incompetent, of letting someone else be in control and there is no place for any of that in salsa dancing.
As a person who has not done any leading, except back leading, it is difficult for me to speculate about what it is like for someone to lead another person in dancing.
I imagine it is difficult to be the person who has to come up with the patterns and to be responsible for making the two of you “look good” while you are dancing.
Both the lead and the follow have to take responsibility for the quality of the dance, but I know leads experience a lot of pressure to keep things interesting and meet the needs of the follow.
So I must make it clear that I do understand, to some extent, the difficulties of leading in salsa dance.
As a follow and a person who wants to dance as much as possible, there are many challenges I, and I suspect many other follows, face in salsa dancing. Many of these challenges are probably true for leads as well.
1. Finding a partner, any partner who can do at least the basic salsa steps (there seems to be a shortage of them at many salsa dances)
2. Learning to ask someone to dance rather than wait to be asked (with such a shortage there’s a little competition on the dance floor)
3. Learning to be blind and to feel the direction of the lead, I need to trust that my lead will protect me on the dance floor.
4. I must learn to forget learned patterns. Every lead dances differently, every lead has different patterns (or doesn’t have patterns at all) and I can’t try to back lead them into the patterns I have learned.
5. I need to learn to trust my instincts, rather than analyzing what I think my lead wants me to do. I should just do what feels natural.
6. I need to learn to maintain a balance between being mindful of technique and connecting with the music (also important for the lead).
7. I must abandon fears of judgment of my skills and abandon judgment of my lead. This can be one of the most difficult things for follows who are typically women, who feel that they are constantly on display and being judged for how we look and perform, especially with so much emphasis on “styling” in dancing.
8. I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for my mistakes in dancing or for not knowing what my lead wanted me to do. We both have to communicate and connect and sometimes that just doesn’t happen.
9. Most importantly, I need to remember to have fun no matter what my leads skill level is I should try to find a way to make them feel and look good. I can do this by smiling, being silly, flirting playfully, and thanking them for the dance.
I have mentioned in comments on other’s posts that I feel clumsy and uncoordinated when I dance with a more experienced dancer or a dancer who dances in a style in which I am not familiar.
These feelings are rooted in my challenges as a dancer. As I overcome my challenges, more are sure to present themselves as I will never be perfect or perfectly happy with my dancing.
However, I must remember that every dance is an opportunity to have fun, learn, grow, and connect with another person and isn’t that what life is all about?
Related posts:
Correction to #8 I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for my mistakes…
gotcha.
Tonia I feel your pain I guess. I am a very shy person and sometimes I feel like(as a lead) there is a lot of pressure to make myself and my partner look good. I know most of the patterns we have learned and feel comfortable leading through all but one(I forget the name but its the one where we break the arm and go under….) so I never do that unless it’s slow because I don’t want to hurt anybody. But what I try to do is have fun like you said but that fact that I want to be perfect sometimes takes over. Well I hope it works out for you and if you ever need to practice after class feel free to ask me!
Thanks Jevon. I know dancing will work out for both of us because we love it and we are willing to commit time to it. I love to dance after class and always will unless I am in a hurry to get to Carmen’s to dance. You are welcome to head over to Carmen’s after class sometime as well. I don’t go every week anymore, but usually a couple of times a month on Tuesdays. We’ll have to find a way to get you out on some of the nights you don’t work. You have to get experience out on the real dance floor.